Category: Let's talk
I was told yesterday about a head of a support department in a mainstream college.
She told a blind student off for holding on to a friend's arm instead of the rail when climbing the stairs. She told the same person off for not knowing where the button was in a lift, when she ould have just pressed it herself. She told another student off for not knowing the way to a class the student and her were both going to, when she couled have just taken him there.
I don't know how common this is, but I know there are a few support workers and managers who are like her.
What is wrong with these people? What goes on in their heads when they're getting angry because a student held a friend's arm instead of the rail. Why does she feel that it matters to her that a student is holding a friend's arm instead of the rail?
I think this is a bit like domestic abuse, in that these people gradually become more controlling. It's the support equivalent to an abusive man telling his girlfriend who she can be friends with and when she should be home. Support workers like the one I've mentioned treat students as if they own them. They seem to think that the students they support shouldn't have the freedom to choose whether to hold onto a friend or a rail when climbing stairs.
I think this type of support worker should be sacked, but is that enough? Do they need help? Maybe they should see a psychologist to discuss how they feel when a student is holding a friend's arm instead of a rail, why those feelings are triggered, how it all started etc.
How did it all start? Did they go into the job with this controling attitude, or did it develop over time? Did it develop because they saw other support workers getting worked up about such trivial matters and they thought they should do the same? Why did they think they should do the same instead of challenging such crazy behaviour? Didn't they think it was crazy?
Do they gradually become more controlling? If so, are they aware of what they're doing? Is it deliberate or part of a process connected to their mental illness? They are mentally ill aren't they? It's not normal to get angry because a blind person is holding a friend's arm instead of a rail. It's weird.
Most importantly, if they were like that before they got their jobs, how did such mad crazy nutcases get jobs supporting disabled people, some of whom would be afraid to challeng their control freakery?
I've seen flavors of this before, and have similar questions, I'd just figured I didn't have the answers as I don't have a psychology or similar background.
One attendant got very upset with me that I opened a pop bottle for a guy with cerebral palsy. In my defense, my Swiss Army knife I had on my keychain is what I generally used as a bottle opener and, so after pulling a couple bottles from the fridge, I just opened his. I just thought that was being a gentleman or whatever.
She went off, said various plattitudes about how I ought to know about independence, stuff like that.
And we, the taxpayers, pay for these people. I'm with you: perhaps we should pay for them all right, for their treatment.
I can understand why they would want the students to be more independent, but scalding someone else for helping another student like that on a constant basis is just going a bit overboard, in my opinion. That having been said, I have similar questions as well.
There's a difference between helping someone because you think they cannot be independent, and helping them just to be friendly, as leo Guardian said. It seems people such as this support worker are not aware of this difference. Whether or not it's a willful ignorance, I don't know.
Those are two different reasons why people help people. If you see somebody guiding somebody else up some stairs though, it's not normal to stop them and ask why they're doing that. Most people would just leave them to it.
I suppose they feel it is the job to correct people at the source, so to speak. You say telling them off, as if it were mean, not instructing them in an instructive manner, so if you are correct, then it is nnot odd. Some people when given control, or made boss, so to speak, get it in their heads to wright ever wrong, and these people are many. It would take a strong disabled person to put them straight, but most of them don't pick on the strong. Home issues, personal issues and all add to it. Police, teachers, and many others ina control job have the issue. It is up to the college to remove, or retrain her.If you know about it, and are strong, and right, of course, you must check to see if the person that told you this info was right, then step in and help. That is the only way to get it fixed.